My girlfriend figured out who you are.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
