dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Randomize
