It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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