hotel room ftw
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Randomize
