My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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