I'm lost and stupid without you.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
