doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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