Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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