Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
