btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
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