from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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