to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
Randomize
