she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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