I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Randomize