i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
