she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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