You're completely useless in the revolution.
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
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