Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
