he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Shame - the story of my life.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
