The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
