please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Randomize
