wanna go halves on a baby?
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
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