This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
