i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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