K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
