im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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