Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Randomize
