Too much gin, very little bucket
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
