BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
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