I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
