Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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