My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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