If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
After last night, I could never be a politician.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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