I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
