At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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