She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Randomize
