hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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