i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
