I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
