i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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