you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Randomize
