Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
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