pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
