So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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