is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I got inside last night via doggy door
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
