Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
