Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
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