normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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