This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I don't deserve a penis
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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