He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
