even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
