Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
she told me i tasted like america
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
